Buried feelings

I'm so blue right now, that I couldn't think any were else to go, but my room, and take out my lap, and write something about myself.

I think my life is missing the happy part of it, I'm living my life, like if I had 40 year's or something like that, I don't feel like a 16 year old girl, I feel like a granny, my brain and my body, feels like that. sometimes not even my behavior is similar to a 16 year old girl, you may sound like if I was describing a creepy old woman with 27 cat's in her house, but I'm not I'm actually talking about me.

And for now on, I'll make a pact with myself, which is that I'll enjoy the little thing's, I will laugh harder, I'll take a minute or two to appreciate the life that I'm living because I'm really lucky to have this life.

I'll take time to realize the beauty of the world, with it's bad and good thing's, 'cause no one seems to care about the world, so I will,

I know this may sound like an invented story, or so, but it's not!. -I can't believe I'm going to say this but...- I never asked to grow, I know that is a natural process of life it self, but it's not OK, -it really isn't- you may be wondering why?. It's a easy answer, 'case growing up it's just like rolling in the floor with no clothes on, and I don't mean floor, I meant like the ground, with all the mud, stones, and dirt, and while you're rolling these thing's hurt you and you can't fight with them all the time, sometimes you have to stop fighting and just resist. 

 But what can I do?, when I talk to myself about this situation, I think that the only thing that I can't do, it's just stand it and live with it, because some day, I know I will be big!, and I will shine, -not like a movie star o anything-, I will shine with my smile, because I can!, and I will study harder so, I could make easier my residence in school, so for now on, these will be like a bible, every time I feel disappointed about my self, I will read this and I will remember that I can stand anything,

I can do it, 'cause I'm beautiful, and strong, I have more guts that all my classmates together, 'cause they didn't lived their childhood like I did, and because they didn't had the parent's that I had. - and I thank god, I have my parent's, with me, because without them I would be lost-.

So for now on, I will change my attitude, because I don't want to feel this way, anymore!.

Love, Lore.

PS: I really needed to share this with someone, 'cause I've been feeling sort of drowned, with this buried feeling I had deep in my heart. 

Life changing experiences

So... today I feel good, so I will tell you a story that may sound pretty boring but it changed my life.

So this started like 15 year's ago, when my sisters went to the doctor, 'cause they needed glasses, 'cause they didn't see that well, so I was a baby, and the doctor, said my eyes were weird, 'cause they were moving and moving like side to side, so quickly so he said that I had this disease, and that I needed glasses too, but my mom didn't wanted that I wear glasses since a young age, so when I was 6 I returned with the same doctor, and he gave me my very first pair of glasses, sometimes I didn't like to wear glasses, 'cause it's not comfortable, so I wore glasses for ten years, YES 10 years, and I stopped using them 'cause I went to surgery, to fix my problem, fortunately everything went well, but a month before I went to the operating room, I was so nervous, that I loss like 3 pounds, my hands were sweating almost all the time, and I was so sensitive to everything because I was scared.

I thought what if I need a transplant?, -the Dr. said it would be a high risk operation- what if the transplant never gets here?, what if I never get to see again?, what am I supposed to do?, I did know that the operation was the best option for me 'cause I've always had troubles to see the board, so I didn't wanted those problems again in high school, so the day I went the the operating room, I was shaking, my hands were cold, and the nurses didn't told me it was time to go, so I didn't talk to my parents till I got out, but when I was there, I felt, terrible, suddenly, everything got blurry, and sometimes went black, and I saw a needle, came straight to my eye, and I couldn't stopped it, so I had to hold on the teddy bear the nurse gave me to tight I almost choke him in a figurative sense of course, and them the laser started, I was feeling this hot thing inside my eye, that actually burned my eye, and it was a painful part of the thing, and I smelled like burned meat, 'cause the laser was burning my eyes, then the laser stopped, and the nurse  put me these weird drops of medicine in my eyes, that made me felt like if someone put me a chili in my eye!, and the the Dr. told me a lot of thing I had to do for  the taking care of my eyes 'cause he had to go, and I was like WTH?, I mean I just survived these freak thing and now you tell me this?, anyway I got out and everything seemed so blurry and... whats the word? like soft, or something and my eyes were so swollen and, I went through a lot of pain there, so I was happy 'cause then I could go home.

The weirdest thing is that the operation only lasted for like 20 minutes and it felted like hours!, I didn't believe how quickly I got out 'cause I thought I'd taken longer there, so I went with my parent well they came to me, 'cause I couldn't see well, and they took me home, and then I fall asleep, with my "goggles", -protectors-, and I woke up and I was like?, what? how could this thing ever happened to me?, I couldn't believe I was safe.

So I learned that even you feel, so bad, and you think everything is going to come in a bad way, is not, 'cause there's someone watching you, and also, I have great parents that care about me, but what is they didn't?. so I pray, 'cause I knew I have to thank god, that everything came well. 

Now I don't use glasses, and I can see the board, sometimes I feel odd, 'cause, I've always wore them, it's like somethings missing, but I'm so much better now, and I have to say you guys that if you're healthy please consider the organs donation when you died, I have though about it, 'cause there are hundreds and hundreds of people, that needs maybe a kidney, a heart, a I don't know, and they might died 'cause only the 6% (In Mexico) donates their organs when they die, so I think it's a good thing to do and to think about it.

So I wanted to tell you that, 'cause its liberating for me, now I'm better 'cause I told you my story. thanks to all the ones who keep reading my blog, Im glad you do!.

Reporting from Mexico, in a windy-cloudy day, giraffe's off.

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All about me!

Hello!, I haven't been inspired this week 'cause I've under a lot of stress 'cause my Thacher's are making me crazy, anyway so I don't have anything to talk about -well I don but I can't get in order my thoughts- so anyway I'm going to talk about myself.

This is what you have to know:

-My name is Lorena, but I don't like to be called Lorena, just Lore or Lorrein as it's translation in French.

-I'm 16 year's old.

-I'm a Libra

-I like cat's, and little dog's not huge dog's that kind of dog's makes me scared.

-I have 2 sister's older than me

-I like this languages: Spanish, English, French, Portuguese, and Russian. But I only know Spanish obviously, and English, and I think I may start French this January! I really excited.

-I like to met new people, even though I'm a bit shy.

-I've a weird laugh somewhere between Bob Sponge's laugh and evil Cruela Devil, but I like it! hahaha.

-I'm in a catholic school, at the beginning it was for women only, but then it became for both sex's (thank god!).

-I looooooooooooooooooooooooooove to go to the movies!, it is one of my hobby's

-I like all kinds of music, but my favorite genders are, rock, alternative, indie, and electro.

-I'm crazy, well not like crazy-crazy in a mental institution, NO, when I say I'm crazy I mean I'm really extroverted with my friend's and family -only- 

-I love to read book's, the one that I'm reading right now is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, oh mu gosh, this is a great book, and of course I think it's so much better than the movie, but one good thing about have seen the movie, before you read the book, is that you imagine the character's in your mind like in the movie.

Oh and other book I love is Angus, thong's & full frontal snogging, actually this book I read because my sister borrowed to me, I'm so glad she did, 'cause I absolutely loved it!

-I don't  have a lot of friend's in my school, I think most of the people that goes to my school are a bunch of hypocrites, but I do have Friends there like 10, that I consider "good" -more or less- 

-I love watching TV and stuff, sometimes I watch movies, sometimes documentaries, sometimes series, MTV -they should remove the "m" since they're not using it, MTV was better year's ago-.

-Favourite movies:-top 10-

*Bride & Prejudice

*Crazy Stupid LOVE.

*Midnight in Paris

*Something Borrowed

*Forest Gump

*Definitely maybe

*Little miss sunshine

*Once

*The proposal

*Made of honor

Oh my gosh, I realize that I've seen a lot of movies, and I like a lot, but I think it would be enough with just 10.

ETC

I have a lot of favourite movies, but these are one I like most.

-Favourite songs:-top ten-

*Creep-Radiohead

*Dream a little dream of me-Ella Fitzgerald

*I've got a crush on you-Michael Buble

*A tout le monde-Megadeth

*Sometimes you can't make it on you'r own-U2

*11th dimension-Julian Casablancas

*Fix you-Coldplay

*Strange and beautiful-Aqualung

*Cold water-Damian Rice

*Imagine-The Beatles

I just realize I can't summarize my i pod's favourite list to just ten!, anyway I think these are pretty important song's for me, well I might tell you more about my musical preferences in another post, 

Mm... as you can see, I'm a very "multifaceted" if that's the right word, sometimes I'm selfish, sometimes I'm not, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm as loud as a stereo, sometimes I'm sad, but sometimes I'm happy without a reason, sometimes, I enjoy the silence, sometimes I just wanna yell, sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh, sometimes I love, sometimes I hate -even though hate is a strong word-, sometimes I like sunny days, sometimes I just wanna see the rain fall down, but I'm always myself, it is better to be yourself, than, pretend to be someone you're not, 'cause that were the lies, and problems are born. So don't let anyone or anything charges you, well sometimes, people changes their attitude, and that's right if their doing it, accidentally, 'cause that is the course of nature, but if someone want to change your ways don't aloud them, it is just not right, BE UNIQUE, BE YOURSELF.

-Regards from Mexico to the world!-

-Thank´s for all the people, who's actually reading this blog, I know sometimes, it may be dull, or I don't know but I promise I'll get better with time, thanks Russia and Germany, I can't believe you read this, it is amazing what Internet can do. And if you own a blog, and if you like mine, I'll be happy if you followed me so I can follow your blog too!: Anyway thank's and good afternoon!-

"See you later, alligators"-Eat, pray, love.